I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
