i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
