Umm I'm too high to move.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize