Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Randomize
