remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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