you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Someone came in the potted fern
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i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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