Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
