i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
