That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
