Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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