Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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