fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize