You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Panties = found
Randomize