Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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