Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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