What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
