I'm really into asian looking animals
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
