We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
