on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Your penis caused this!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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