"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
