I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
