Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
