thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
