i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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