The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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