so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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