I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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