Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
