Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
