Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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