dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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