dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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