he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
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I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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