tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
