You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
