My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm getting married
To pizza
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
