The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
