so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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