I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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