Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
