Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
