i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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