so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
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I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
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He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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