covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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