you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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