you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
