Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm too high and old for this...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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