He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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