No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
