HIV tests are more positive than that guy
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize