Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize