he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
50% drunk capacity currently
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
