What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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