its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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