Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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