Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
