we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
