Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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