we're blogging at a bar
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I could fuck to npr.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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