Sry I called you an 8
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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