Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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