So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
