i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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