Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
