gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
